"But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. " Matthew 6:33

This week is truly hell week for me. All sort of life's shit is thrown at me. Boredom, scoldings( pulling of ranks ), manual labour ( Yes, even for PES E pple), getting extras for the first time of my entire life and studying woes. What more can be installed for me next week? I never used to complain that much until I entered NS. I really HATE my current life man. I just wanna sleep and pray that tomorrow will be much better. But can it really happen?

"Love your neighbour as yourself." It's much easier said than done. Help me Lord to forgive those who sinned against me. Help me to resist the temptation of being negative towards others. Help me to become more like you.

You alone can make me smile.

Nike race was quite fun! Although I went alone but I met quite a fair bit of familiar faces. Spoke to a few random pple as well. Clocked a personal best timing of 45 minutes 42sec 21 millisec. Quite an acheivement considering that I didn't rest much for the past few days. The winner clocked a little over 30minutes only. It's like a sick timing! I think i would probably need to train for a few decades to get that kind of timing! Met up with a few pple today. Somehow i miss the times when I can do whatever I like and have pple accompanying me not like in NS where everyone is too busy about their own lives. But it's time to move on! It will be just like the days in NJ when I do not know anyone initially but in the end establishing quite a number of friendships with pple. Bball tmrw! Exciting. Better head to bed soon. Or else I'll really fall sick again.



I do not have to worry about my future. Because I know that I'm safe and secure in your hands.

Life's gonna throw all sorts of shit at you. But remember that you are never alone in this fight. Because the smaller we seem to be, the bigger God will be in our lives. Sometimes I do not understand your ways. But I'm gonna trust you.

Today's sermon was defnitely damn impactful. It is true that being a Christian is definitely not a bed of roses. As a christian we will have to face seven kinds of sufferings. From Psalms 34:19, Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the God delivers them out of them all. Sometimes we look around and wonder why are some good people suffering yet those who rejoice in doing evil happily living their own life. This is where this sermon is applicable.

Suffering comes in all shapes and sizes.Therefore, when we are unable to handle suffering in our lives, we will be disillusioned and tend to blame others and God for being so cruel. The first point is storms of life in Luke 6:47-48. It is the nature of life to be stormy, but we can choose how we respond to the stormy weather. In this life, everyone will at least face a storm heading towards our home. But if we build our house on Christ the rock and not the shifting sand that provides no foundation at all, we will be overcomers in life. While building this stronghold, we must also dig down deep and get rid of all dirt and filth that is unclean in God's eyes. (repentance) It is just like the case of a bar of soap. No matter how much wonders the bar of soap can produce, if we do not open the wrapper, we will not be able to experience its goodness. Similarly, if we do not repent of our old sins, no matter how much we plead with God, He will not answer us. As a christian, we must be ready for blessings and adversity. However some people only knows how to abound and not abass, therefore, when the wind blows, their house will topple. The role model we should learn from is Paul from Philippians 4:11-12, we should learn when to downsize and make adjustments, and when to be humble.

Secondly, the point is chastening (Dealings of God). Although Job is a extremely righteous man who feared God, God still has to bring Job into a process of dealing and training so that He can possess the sonship. Sometimes when God deals with us, we will get rebuked and even discouraged. In the process of our transformation to be like Christ, we have to undergo suffering. With hardship, we will never taste the sweetness of our success. To be able to be true sons and daughters of God, we have to choose to be chastened by God and let him guide us to the correct path again.

Thirdly, temptations. God does not tempt us, it is rather the Devil who tempts us by bringing people into our lives to provoke us. In this case, temptations cause us to blame God. Although we can never stop temptations from coming, we can stop temptations from getting a foothold in our lives. Just as Paul mentioned in Hebrews 4:15-16, Jesus is tempted in all possible ways yet was without sin. Because of that, we are able to come before God to ask for strength to overcome temptations because the very power that Christ possess is actually in us since we too are the temple of God. An for every temptations that we go through, God will always provide a way our for us. All we need to do is ask!

Fourth, spiritual warfare. The main tool in Satan's arsenal is condemnation and discouragement. When we judge others or discourage others, we are actually doing satan's dirty work. But we have to know that Satan cannot do anything without God's permission. And when he does that , God wants to build us up and not to tear us down.

Fifth, Afflictions. Everyone in this world will undergo either physical suffering or mental anguish. However, God listens and empathizes with us. Sometimes we think that no one bothers about us or our complaints but we are wrong. God actually cares for us and wants to listen to you.

Sixth, persecution. People tend to scold and attack us for being righteous and living a christian life. God promised us blessings, but he said that persecution will come hand in hand will it as well. But we have to know that not everyone gets qualified to be persecuted, only true followers of God will get persecuted. Philippians 1:29. Hence, Christians should rejoice because we are worthy to suffer for His name's sake.

Lastly, the trials of faith. From james 1:2-3, the testing of our faith develops patience which also means the capacity to endure. Our outlook will determine our outcome and our attitude will determine our aptitude. Tough times are not abnormal, it will help us to develop and be a great leader in life. Job 13:15. As long as we need an explanation from God about why he does things that seem illogical, we can never learn to trust God. When we can reach a point where we can trust God even if he destroys us, we are considered a true son of God. therefore, when we cannot see God's hand, we should learn to trust God's heart. When we want to know why, we are actually playing God. Rather than screaming in agony, everytime we suffer a trial, we will get bigger inside because we have to be a giant in order to live in the land of a giant. When we pass the test given by God, we will be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. Are you ready to trust God and let him take helm of your life? As the bible says, If anyone were to follow me, he have to deny himself, take up his cross and follow him. I don't know whether I can but I wil definitely give it a shot.

Anyway thanks for everyone who wished me happy birthday and greater thanks to those who took extra effort to celebrate my 19th birthday with me. Really appreciated it alot. This year will definitely be one that is filled with more exciting journeys. I look forward to living a more fulfiling life.

Today is a semi-bad and good day. Good becos practically i enjoyed myself in camp. Bad becos I was involved in some freak car accident. Oh well, kinda dampened my mood a little already. But the very fact that I got 475 bucks from the IT show liften my mood. Probably going to work for some more well-known company for the next IT fair. Will be looking forward to tmrw. Hope everything goes smoothly. Anyway I'm badly sunburnt again. Played an hour of bball for tdy. But it's pretty interesting to start another bball culture. This time not in church but rather in camp. I guess I'll need more strength and agility. Time to head back to the gym.

Life is good when we look at things with a different perspective. It is almost as good as we imagine it to be. :)

2 more days

3 more days to my birthday! Somehow I feel old and useless. At 19 years old and still stucked with a meagre savings, I have to really do something about it. Although it's gonna be my birthday soon, it just feels like any other normal weekend. In my ten months of service, I have learnt to cherish every minute of my time outside camp. Not that every minute spent outside was productive though. Weekends are suppse to be a period of relaxation for me, however, recently I have packed my scheldule to the brim.

With the advent of more appointments, exams and driving lessons, I feel that my lifestyle is getting too hectic for me to slow down and enjoy life. Perhaps I should take time off on that very special day to just sit back and relax. It will somehow be like my sabbath day! I wonder how many people actually bother to remember birthdays by heart and not rely on reminders sent out from social networking sites. With many new resolutions upcoming for the 19 years old me, I'm going leave my old shell behind and assume more vital responsibilities in my workplace as well as at home. Although resolutions are very important, I would like to state my stand clearly that nothing beats growing close to God. Therefore, I would like to see a spiritual breakthrough in my life not just by words but by actions. I look forward to living a new life.

Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

When nothing seems to be in your favour, all the more you have to stand strong kian hwee. When you do not feel God's presence at all, all the more must you have greater faith. I have to complete this race, for this is what I'm called to do. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Life consists of many crossroads, but we are only destined to go to one path. Which road then should I head to?

Went for service today. The sermon by Pastor Kong left me totally disappointed with myself but at the same time happy that there is actually hope for me. It is totally true that our real self manifests when we are undergoing a crisis.

Take the story of Job. He is a person with great moral values, deeply staunch man, a priest to many, a king to the people and lastly a doting father to his kids. However, God allowed calamities to take place in his life in order to test him. In a short 24 hours, he lost all his great possessions, which is equivalent to at least 5 bill gates of current times, his animals (camels were the only mode of transportation back then) and all his children. Instead of blaming God, Job instead fell to his knees and worshipped God. "Naked I came from my mother's womb, And naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord. " Satan was not contented and ask God permission to inflict pain on Job's health so that Job will turn his back on God. Yeah, nothing can happen to us without God's permission. And when God allows something to happen to us, it is because He loved us too much that He did not want us to remain the same. He wants us to be transformed. Job however proclaimed with increasing faith that God is Lord of His life.

How many of us will respond like Job in the face of adversity, trials and tribulations? I'm sure the numbers can even be displayed by the fingers on our hand. We must actually remember that we are not undergoing all these alone. Because when we walk with God, and rejoice in our circumstances, He will in fact watch over us. God is more interested in moulding our character instead of all our material possessions. God is not a program and we are not the programmer. Sometimes we pray and ask God how come He did not bless me with this and that, but He knows the path that we should take and that path no matter how dark it seems ,will make us the head and not the tail. Furthermore, the possessions that we have on earth is temporal. God loaned it to us, and we shouldn't let it lord over our lives.

In the same way, when a child falls sick, his body is actually fighting with the viruses and bacteria to develop an immunity against it. In the same way, God did not allow suffering to wreck us but allows us to build immunity towards it so that we will become a stronger person. Job 23:10 " But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold. " Yes, we may not understand all this right now, but when we are obedient and have faith, we will emerge stronger.

Not my will but yours be done. Are you ready to make this calling?

Sometimes we wish to be left alone, yet when we are alone, we would pray for someone to come along and actually show some care. How contradicting a human's mind can be huh.