After making the prayer to change myself from the inside out, I'm back to my own old self again. It's too difficult to control my temper, to forgive the people in my camp, to not judging others and to not wishing the worst of others, which in short cursing others. I do not wanna seek to be informed about Jesus's message about the gospel, the promise of a new lease of life. But i wanna be transformed by the living Word. It's no longer a journey that I can bring others along with me, it's a journey that I have to go through by myself. Alone yet armed with God's Word. For when I am weak then I am strong. If Jesus can go through 40 days and 40 nights in the desert without food and water.so can I go through 469 more days. What is my pain compared to the afflictions that Jesus went through.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Help me to learn to forgive others, just as how you have forgiven me. Help me to not judge others but rather look at the beauty of your creation and marvel in awe of it. Be with me as I go through this 469 more rough days to come. Nothing beats knowing that you are with me, carrying me through this desert storm, leaving behind your set of fooprint as I look back at my life in my last breath. Amen

Apart from me, you can do nothing.

Sometimes you have to be thick-skinned and willing to go against the odds to succeed. The more someone tells you u can't, the more u have to prove him wrong. Thomas Edison tried 10,000 ways before succeeding in inventing the light bulb. When questioned, he said that he only tried 9,999 ways that did not work. Those were not failures, but merely stepping stones required to be present in order to succeed. If Thomas Edison can do it, I, Kian Hwee, can also do it.

Help me to remember Lord, that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle.

I officially declare that I suck in driving. That's a bad news. On the flipside, I got an A and a B for my mass comm module. Not bad considering that I was sick for the whole of the exam week plus i studied last minute. 4 more modules to go before graduation project which is similar to another PW.... Life's getting packed with activities. 1 more month to Korea. 474 more days to ORD... Ok forget my last sentence. ZZZzz

Went to city harvest church today! Felt refreshed after missing out God's word for very long. Pastor Kong spoke about the story of David and Goliath. Everyone will face a "Goliath" one way or another in our life. But are we ready to brace ourselves for the challenge and hurl the stone at goliath?

1) The stone of the past.

God uses our painful past in order to build a backbone of steel in us so that we will be courageous and not lacking in faith. A good memory will build a hero out of us.

2) The stone of prayer.

Our prayer will be tested with time. Are we ready to arm ourselves with prayers to overcome the "Goliath" in our lives?

3) The stone of priority.

Matthew 6:33 "First seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."

4) The stone of passion.

Are we really passionate for the cause of God? Because God will invest on the one with passion. If we stay on fire for God, we will never lose track of our objectives.

5) The stone of persistence.

Sometimes we just have to keep getting up and up and up after failures in order to be a giant slayer.

Armed with these five stones. Are you ready to meet the Goliath in your life?

Today's quite a boring day. No gym, not enough sleep, time seems to come to a standstill. But alright, driving was quite interesting. My first lesson wasn't that bad after all. Another 17 lessons to look forward to. It's another month before I head to Korea. Can't wait to leave this dreaded place. Even for a moment. Yeah, I can last through for now. I hope. French exams this saturday. I am so dead I think. Anyone able to revise with me?

I REALLY HATE YOU TO THE CORE.

Army half marathon today! First time ran 21km without stopping, except during the water points becos it was too freaking crowded. Took like 1 hour and 49 mins to complete. But can do bettter if I put in my effort in the last 5km. Oh well, anyway next race will be mizuno wave run/ run NUS. Will train harder although the physiotherapist told me to stop running for a few months or else I will be really injured. Running is really my passion. It will really be good to have someone sharing the same passion as me. Perhaps can join me in future races too. Shall go on a strict diet now. Energy bar for breakfast, then 1 scoop of rice and a little ingredients for lunch and perhaps something healthy for dinner for this week. Shall try to lose 4-5 kg by end of this week. Wish me luck. haha. Anyway practical lessons starting next week. Excited. Shall try to get my driving license by this year. Au revoir.


Always start the race with the end in mind!

Time's ticking..How to make this one life of mine count? Honestly, I have no idea.

Went to youth service just now. Think it is somehow God's will and timing for me to be there since the message came at a timely manner. It is surprisingly and alarmingly true that Singaporeans spend most of the time complaining and making disparaging negative remarks about others as well as ther own lives. The hokkien term "sian" can almost be found in our daily colloquial usage of words. Correct me if I'm wrong. We tend to think about how disastrous our lives are and how good other people's life is relative to ours.

However, as the famous philosopher remarked, "The world do not owe us a living, it was here first." Yes, coincidentally that made perfect sense. Sometimes we have to stop and think about how to make our life better instead of sitting on a stool and blaming yourself for the poor fate. I'm almost perfectly certain then no one will reply 'Life's been pretty good and going smoothly as planned,' if I were to pose a question "How's life been for you?" to the particular person.

Yeah, indeed it can be quite difficult to change our present circumstance. But I have decided to give it a go and let God take charge of my life once again. God did not come to earth so that we have just lead a normal or 'sian' life but He came down to die on the cross so that we can have a life and have it to the fullest.

Quelle est la vie? Permettez à Dieu de vous montrer la voie

Searching the answer to life's toughest question is as arduous as finding a needle in a haystack.


Can't let the music stop
Can't let this feeling end
Cause if I do, it'll all be over
I'll never see you again
Can't let the music stop
Until I touch your hand
'Cause if I do, it'll all be over
I'll never get the chance again
I'll never get the chance again


Au revoir

Trois aout 2009

3 exams this week. 1 down 2 more to come!

Anyway polyclinics is the worst place to hang out in. Lots of unhappy and disgruntled patients blaming themselves for falling sick and hurling accusations at nurses and doctors for their incompetencies due to the long waiting time. Makes me wonder whether being a doctor is actually an honourable job.

Went to golden mile complex after examinations to check out some stuffs then managed to catch a glimpse of a side of singapore that was unknown to me before today. Saw many thai prostitutes and transvestites lurking outside and within the building. Quite a scary place to be in though. Left after getting my information.

Anyway I can't wait to go overseas next month, a place that is not as lonely, boring and sad as Singapore. 1.5 more months to go. Come on time machine! Bring me into the future.

Trois aout 2009

3 exams this week. 1 down 2 more to come!

Anyway polyclinics is the worst place to hang out in. Lots of unhappy and disgruntled patients blaming themselves for falling sick and hurling accusations at nurses and doctors for their incompetencies due to the long waiting time. Makes me wonder whether being a doctor is actually an honourable job.

Went to golden mile complex after examinations to check out some stuffs then managed to catch a glimpse of a side of singapore that was unknown to me before today. Saw many thai prostitutes and transvestites lurking outside and within the building. Quite a scary place to be in though. Left after getting my information.

Anyway I can't wait to go overseas next month, a place that is not as lonely, boring and sad as Singapore. 1.5 more months to go. Come on time machine! Bring me into the future.