After making the prayer to change myself from the inside out, I'm back to my own old self again. It's too difficult to control my temper, to forgive the people in my camp, to not judging others and to not wishing the worst of others, which in short cursing others. I do not wanna seek to be informed about Jesus's message about the gospel, the promise of a new lease of life. But i wanna be transformed by the living Word. It's no longer a journey that I can bring others along with me, it's a journey that I have to go through by myself. Alone yet armed with God's Word. For when I am weak then I am strong. If Jesus can go through 40 days and 40 nights in the desert without food and water.so can I go through 469 more days. What is my pain compared to the afflictions that Jesus went through.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Help me to learn to forgive others, just as how you have forgiven me. Help me to not judge others but rather look at the beauty of your creation and marvel in awe of it. Be with me as I go through this 469 more rough days to come. Nothing beats knowing that you are with me, carrying me through this desert storm, leaving behind your set of fooprint as I look back at my life in my last breath. Amen