Am I fond of making unwise decision. If only I can reverse it.

A new lease of life you have given me, that I may walk in your ways knowing that I have already gotten the victory in life.

Lord I know that by your blood, I am no longer bound to my past. I know that your love is so great that I can't help but to forgive those who has hurt or have attempted to hurt me. What would you do if you were in my position?

Everything is meaningless, the running of marathons, the agony of studying, the mastery of a new language, the initiation of a relationship, the accumulation of accolades, the conquering of one's fear and the amassing of wealth. It all seems purposeless and mundane, the constant chasing of things that will not last. Until I heard the greater calling from God that I finally understood the meaning of these pursuits. That all these are but tools used to glory Him and to proclaim His name high. The blood shed, the tear flowed, the fear expelled, the courage mustered drew me closer to God. That I am able to come close to him once again and declare that He is my father.

I have tried, cried and struggled but yet there seems to be no remedy. Everything seems impossible right now but I believe that God you are stil in control. Even if the whole world rejects me, I know that my God is still worthy to be praised.

Maybe I'm not that strong after all.

If only my heart was devoid of feelings, perhaps it wouldn't hurt this bad, not at all.