Am I fond of making unwise decision. If only I can reverse it.

A new lease of life you have given me, that I may walk in your ways knowing that I have already gotten the victory in life.

Lord I know that by your blood, I am no longer bound to my past. I know that your love is so great that I can't help but to forgive those who has hurt or have attempted to hurt me. What would you do if you were in my position?

Everything is meaningless, the running of marathons, the agony of studying, the mastery of a new language, the initiation of a relationship, the accumulation of accolades, the conquering of one's fear and the amassing of wealth. It all seems purposeless and mundane, the constant chasing of things that will not last. Until I heard the greater calling from God that I finally understood the meaning of these pursuits. That all these are but tools used to glory Him and to proclaim His name high. The blood shed, the tear flowed, the fear expelled, the courage mustered drew me closer to God. That I am able to come close to him once again and declare that He is my father.

I have tried, cried and struggled but yet there seems to be no remedy. Everything seems impossible right now but I believe that God you are stil in control. Even if the whole world rejects me, I know that my God is still worthy to be praised.

Maybe I'm not that strong after all.

If only my heart was devoid of feelings, perhaps it wouldn't hurt this bad, not at all.

It hurts to love someone when we can't tell them what we really feel...because sometimes we get hurt without them knowing. We get jealous even if we have no right to feel that way. We want their time even if we are not in the position to demand for it. Although our hearts are breaking in silence, we still continue to love them because somehow in this hurtful love there is still hope of having simple moments with them even if it means being just a friend. ..

A struggle that I have to go through alone. Everything seems bleak, hope seems forlorn. You said that you will take this yoke away from me for this is too much for me to endure. You said that you will never leave nor forsake me but why am I left doubting your existence. Job said, when you have tested me, I shall shine forth as gold. Am I able to shine forth as gold too?

I know that the day will eventually come but it is just not today.

Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down. Perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways. Perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music. Perhaps...perhaps...love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath.

What truly makes me happy is to see the smile of my loved ones, especially you.

I'm so tired of being a shadow next to you. To be present and yet not present at the same time. After I'm done with my responsibilities, it will be time to move on. Perhaps I should put an end to everything as well.

The saddest thing in life is having no one to turn to when you are feeling down and having to suppress those feelings so that you will not be a burden to anyone.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

If the grief that I suffer now is great, imagine the grief that God has endured when He saw His only beloved son being cruxified on the cross. There's simply no comparison. God you win hands down.

Remembering someone is easy but forgetting someone is difficult. Are you really testing me Lord? Taking away the things that matter the most to me in a mere 2 days. After thinking it through, I realized that God you are all I need. No matter where I flee and hide, your love still continues to enamour me. Perhaps this is the ideal 20th birthday gift that I need. To be able to maintain my composure in the face of adversities and continue trusting in you. I shall not be swayed by the things of this world because they are but seconds in comparison to eternity installed for me in your presence. Therefore I relish every single moment of hardship that I face if it allows me to draw nearer to you. I have no idea what's going to happen but I'm definitely certain that you will workmfor the good of those who love you! :)

Hear my prayers, O Lord, And let my cry come to you. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my trouble; Incline your ear to me; In the day that I call, answer me speedily.

I will be still and know you are God.

I feel like giving up! :(